It’s very common for children to feel worried or upset when separating from their parent or carer at school. With patience, consistency, and reassurance, drop-offs can become smoother over time. Here are some practical tips to make mornings easier for you and your child.
Before the School Day
- Prepare your child calmly: Let them know once in the morning that they are going to school, but avoid repeated reminders, as this can increase anxiety.
- Share your plans for the day: Briefly tell your child what you (or other family members) will be doing while they’re at school. For example, “Daddy is going to work, Mummy is going to the shops, and after school we’ll all be home together.”
- Avoid technology before and on the way to school: Screens can make transitions harder. Use the time for talking, listening to music, or connecting with your child instead.
- Keep routines consistent: A predictable morning routine helps children feel secure.
- Give a comfort item: A small object (like a keychain, worry stone, or note in their lunchbox) can provide reassurance.
At Drop-Off
- Be calm and confident: Children take cues from adults. A relaxed, positive attitude helps them feel safe.
- Keep goodbyes short and positive: Long goodbyes can increase anxiety.
- Don’t hang around: Once you’ve said goodbye, leave promptly so your child can settle with their teacher.
- Use a special goodbye ritual: Try “One Kiss, One Hug, One I Love You, One Goodbye.” This simple, predictable routine reassures your child while encouraging independence.
- If your child is stressed: Avoid overexplaining or talking too much. Instead, use a short, reassuring statement such as, “Natalie is going to take care of you while Mum is at work, and I’ll see you after school.”
Building Resilience
- Acknowledge feelings: Let your child know it’s okay to feel sad or worried. Naming feelings helps them feel understood.
- Encourage independence: Praise your child for being brave and remind them of times they managed well.
- Work with the teacher: Teachers are experienced in helping children settle in and can support your child after you leave.
- Use storybooks: Reading together can help children relate to characters who go through similar experiences. Helpful books include:
- The Invisible String — Patrice Karst
- Owl Babies — Martin Waddell
- The Kissing Hand — Audrey Penn
- The Hare-Shaped Hole — John Dougherty & Thomas Docherty
What to Avoid
- Don’t sneak away without saying goodbye (this can increase anxiety).
- Don’t prolong goodbyes, it makes separation harder.
- Don’t show worry or guilt in front of your child, they may copy your emotions.
Remember: Separation anxiety is normal in young children and usually improves with consistency and support. If your child’s anxiety continues or worsens, talk with their teacher or a child psychologist for further guidance.
